I know for a lot of you, especially moms (or dads), self care is not high on your list of things you think about or even do. I know I should do more, but life happens. Last Thursday night I was on a zoom call with my kids school counselor. They are doing this parenting series and the first one was on Positive Parenting. I really enjoyed it and felt good that I knew a lot of the things that she talked about. She peaked my interest when she said something to the effect of, “And the last, but more important thing is….”. Yea, I was sitting there ready to hear what was most important. Thinking it was something about the kids, but in actuality she said it was that as a parent we must take care of ourselves first and foremost. I kinda sunk in my seat because I know I don’t do that. COVID makes it even harder.
I know that I am doing more than normal because I had surgery to lose weight with my kids being a HUGE part of why I am doing this. They need their mom and they need a happy and healthy mom. But other than the surgery, I am failing at, what the counselor says is, the most important part of positive parenting. I live in my yoga pants, can’t even find my make up, my hair doesn’t know what its like to not be rolled up in a scrunchie (yes, I know its not the 90’s any longer!).
I have made some recent attempts at doing things for myself. When I took William to get a hair cut I went ahead and got some of my hair cut off as well. The cut was horrible (she forgot to layer it), but it felt good to get some of it cut off. Another thing I did recently was sign up for IPSY. (If you by chance have been thinking about trying them then click here and it gives me a referral. No pressure!) It’s like a monthly subscription for make up and other similar items. They are mostly testing sizes, but some of the things I have received are full size. In fact I am going to use the clay mask tonight. Freshen up my face. I thought by signing up and getting some things in the mail that it will motivate me to actually use some of it. It’s working. I am going out soon to buy some foundation!
I think so many moms feel like all their energy needs to go into their kids. Maybe they don’t feel they have an options because of time or money constraints. I have both of those issues, but I have found some ways to help my sanity and give me my quiet time that I need. One thing is that my kids go to bed on very regular schedules and early. In fact starting this week I am moving up their bedtimes by 15 mins. My youngest will be going to bed at 8:15 (she is 6) and my next youngest will be going to bed at 8:45 (he is 8). I like to have my chores done by time they go to bed so I can do whatever it is that I want to do. If I want to veg out and watch TV, go for a walk, work on my diamond paintings, or even go to bed early. The biggest thing is I get to do what I want with no kids running around driving me nuts!
So, if you are out there doing a great job at everything else except taking care of yourself, then please just take a small step and do something for yourself. You are worth it.
I know this is short, but it was something on my mind and writing about things helps me. If you have something you do for self care that is inexpensive or free please share at the bottom of this post. I would love to find more ways to work on this aspect of my life.