I am a little less happy with my exercise this past week, but eh, it happens. I was going to be down on myself, but looking back I am excited that not only am I staying well above 10K steps, I am closer to 20K steps per week on average. That’s crazy good. I did have some issues that kept me on low profile the last few days. My knee is acting up and one of my elbows is hurting pretty bad when I am working out at the gym. I went to my doctor today and she is sending me out to two different ortho doctors. One for the elbow and one for the knee. The knee has been bothering me for years and years, but with my weight what it was, there was no point in trying to resolve it. Now that I am getting the weight off and its hurting when I exercise I figured it needs to be addressed. I have NO clue what is going on with my elbow. She thinks its tendon related. Hopefully I can get some relief because I am ready to get back on track with my workouts. None of this is getting to me. I knew that even though I feel great overall, I knew that there would be some issues to deal with because of the wear and tear on my body! My doctor is also getting the results of an MRI I had a while back to see what we can do about the numbness/pain/cramps that I am having with my left foot as a result of the major sciatic nerve issue I had several years back. I have been woken every night for the last 5 or 6 nights dealing with cramps in the muscles that are near my sciatic nerve in my lower left leg and my left foot. They are painful and its really inhibiting my beauty sleep!
Overall how things are going!
Despite the ups and downs, my attitude stays up! I am so freaking happy most days. I have had a few “blue” days, but I was able to work through them and direct myself back to my happy place. One great thing is I have gotten back into my baking. I shut my baking business down last December. I have been doing more and more and it makes me happy! And to be honest, it doesn’t bother me that I can’t eat much of anything. I take tiny bites here and there, but that’s as much as I am willing to do so I don’t mess up my stomach. For me, I baked because I was good at it and it made me happy. Being how I am now though, I know my limits. I am slowly getting back into things. Right now I am not doing decorated sugar cookies because they are the most stressful for me. I am pretty much just doing cakes for the most part. I am learning to say no!
Every time I meet someone that I haven’t seen in a long time their biggest thing they say about me is that I seem happy! For the first time in my life they are correct. I have lived most of my life with a smile on my face so I LOOKED happy. To finally be happy is crazy cool! I finally feel real. I feel like I am not living a lie. I am finally the way that people see me and it is wonderful!
I have had a few times recently that I look in the mirror and still see the fat person. Guess what, I am still fat! I stared into the mirror and told myself out loud the following message. “Kristi, you are beautiful. Kristi, you are an amazing person. Kristi, you are a kind person. Kristi, you are loved by God.” I hugged myself and walked away from the mirror. What I or others see is of no huge importance. It’s about what I feel. I was talking to my daughter the other day and I got teary eyed, because I told her that before my surgery I didn’t expect it to work. I believed this because that is just how my life went. Nothing ever really went my way and I failed at so many things. I was just sure this would be another thing to add to my list of things that I failed at. To see myself now almost 78lbs down brings me to tears. I won’t even give “LUCK” the bragging rights. Luck has nothing to do with it. It has to do with the hard work I put into this, my doctors, dieticians, my friends and family, my supporters, and God. I am grateful for the opportunity to be happy! I am grateful for the opportunity to be a better mom.
A few months back I was worried about the holidays since they are so focused on food. I am not overly worried any longer. It is a process just like everything else. It will be hard not to pile my plate, but the answer to that is a smaller plate! HAHA For real, my dinner plate now is a salad plate. It helps me to keep in focus how much I need to eat in one sitting and helps me to not over eat. Honestly I would like a smaller plate. It’s a mind thing to see a plate full of food and be satisfied. If I was eating off a larger plate then I think I would feel that I wasn’t getting enough.
Write a book?
I am part of a Facebook group for others that have had bariatric surgery. When I read so many posts about people not knowing what to eat, not losing weight, feeling lost, it makes me SUPER grateful for the program that I went through. In the beginning it seems so strict, but its because they know what works and they want you to be successful! Honestly, I am considering writing a book about my experiences so that others that may not have the wonderful guidance I had would be able to get some great information. The book would detail out some of my personal beliefs as well as detailing out the program that I went through in order to be this successful! What do you think? Do you think that would be of some interest to anyone?
As always, thank you to each and every one of you that read my posts. I makes me happy!
Have a blessed day!