I did it again! I kind of let myself down because I was so worried of letting everyone else down. Breaking my toe was a valid issue, but I let it turn into an excuse. An excuse to not exercise. An excuse to not keep losing weight. An excuse to feel sorry for myself and beat myself up. Nothing but an excuse. And not a good one.

So, what have I been up to for the last long while? A lot! Lots of good and a little bit of crappy sprinkled in. Too much to get into, but I suppose you will get pieces of it over time, but the highlights might be nice. So, my last post was Sept 2021. About 18 months ago. Let’s see…. I moved out of the apartment, and I am now renting a nice and spacious house. My oldest son moved home, my army daughter got hurt jumping out of an airplane, and I got and broke up with my first boyfriend since my divorce. None of those in any particular order!

Each one of those events have had their challenges and their good points. I won’t discuss my son for his privacy.

My oldest daughter has been in the Army since June 2020. She went airborne so she jumps out of airplanes on top of her regular job. Each jump is stressful for me as I am sure it is her. This last jump that was about 3 weeks ago ended not going well. They are calling it a chute malfunction. Best they can figure is that the chute didn’t open fully, and my daughter ended up hitting the ground at an alarming speed. She got a concussion and caused damage to both meniscus in her knees. Once she was out of the hospital and cleared to fly, she was given leave and she came home for about 9 days to be with family and heal. She just left yesterday. She is one crazy, but strong child of mine. She is getting out of the army early next year. Says she has had enough and is ready to move on with her life. She has a boyfriend who she loves, and he seems to be a great guy. I am happy for them.

Boyfriend…yea, that’s a story. Probably for another day though. Short story is I thought I loved him and was picturing myself being married, but then I saw a side of him that reminded me of my ex-husband, so I had to break it off. I will NOT put my kids or myself through a bad home life if I have anything to say about it.

My weight story isn’t so exciting. I have pretty much kept off the weight. I might be up around 5 lbs., but after almost 2 years of not exercising I am actually quite happy with myself that I have maintained my weight loss as well as I have considering I haven’t been exercising.

My health over the last 18 months is a bit more exciting. I have had a hysterectomy and a cardiac ablation during this time. Hysterectomy was a bit of an emergency situation due to excessive bleeding that left me with a blood count so low that doctors wondered how I was able to walk into the office. I was getting blood transfusions, iron infusions and on all kinds of meds. None of it helped so the hysterectomy was done. I still have one ovary. The other one had to be removed as it was about to burst due to a tumor on it causing it to twist on itself. Tumor was not cancerous, but troublesome and I am currently being monitored every 6 months due to how aggressive these tumors are and how they like to come back. The cardiac ablation was also pretty emergent. I had an episode of atrial flutter (with some afib mixed in) that landed me in the hospital for several days in the ICU. I had heart rates in the 140s and 150s that they couldn’t get down. They had to shock my heart back into rhythm. Rather than wait and see if medications would work, the decision was made to go ahead and do the cardiac ablation due to the severity of the episode and the history of previous episodes and the fact that they were progressively getting worse. I have been doing well since all these procedures, in fact I am doing great. I love that I will never have another period again! It’s wonderful! 🙂

How’s my mental state? It’s definitely been a bit of a rollercoaster. But I will say there are more highs than lows. Financially I am doing well. I am doing better sticking to my budget which relieves stress. Knowing I can pay my bills is wonderful. My credit scores are getting better, and I am starting to feel that my goals of home ownership are not so far-fetched. I just got my yearly raise this week and I submitted my resume for a position that is opening up later this year at my current company. If I get this new position, it will be a significant raise on top of being a job that will make me happier. On the downside, I am just so overwhelmed at times. I am tired of being a single mom, tired of not having a best friend (of the male kind), tired of being tired all the time. I hate doing life alone and feeling that all my life consists of is working, cooking dinner, cleaning, and dealing with kids. I need more! I want to do fun things, go on a vacation, just do something besides the things on that list.

BUT…at the end of the day I have faith in Heavenly Father that he has a plan for me. Last year I was called in the Primary Presidency at church. For those not familiar with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Primary is for children from 18mths to 11 yrs old. Each organization has a president, 2 counselors, and a secretary. I am the 1st Counselor. I just love being there for the children of our church each and every Sunday. It makes me happy and gives me a purpose. We are there to love these wonderful children and help teach them and help them feel the spirit when they are at church. In October 2021 I attended the Temple to receive my own endowments. What are endowments? Below is from our church website. They can explain it better than I ever could. All I know is that making this additional covenant with God has changed my life for the better.

Endowment

Overview

The endowment is a religious ceremony administered in temples of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is available to adult Church members who are prepared for this sacred experience.

The endowment provides instruction, covenants, and promised blessings that offer power, purpose, and protection in daily life. It teaches about the Creation of the earth, the Fall of Adam and Eve, the plan of redemption through Jesus Christ, and our own journey back to the presence of God. The endowment helps those who receive it to follow the Savior as they strive for “the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:13), “relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save” (2 Nephi 31:19). Honoring the covenants of the endowment qualifies Church members to enter the covenant of eternal marriage, leading to the precious gift of eternal life.

The word endow has two related meanings: “to bestow a gift” and “to clothe upon.” In 1831 the Lord commanded the Saints to gather in Ohio, with a promise that “there I will give unto you my law; and there you shall be endowed with power from on high” (Doctrine and Covenants 38:32). Portions of the endowment were administered in the Kirtland Temple. Beginning in 1842, the full endowment was administered to Church members in Nauvoo, Illinois. Today all members of the Church are invited to prepare to receive the endowment.

Through the endowment, Church members deepen their covenant relationship with God as they promise to follow His standards of morality, integrity, and service to others. In this sacred ceremony, Church members make covenants “to keep the law of obedience, the law of sacrifice, the law of the gospel, the law of chastity, and the law of consecration” (David A. Bednar, “Prepared to Obtain Every Needful Thing,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2019, 103). Faithfully honoring these promises helps Church members become Saints through the Atonement of Christ (see Mosiah 3:19). The endowment is one way God bestows His power upon His covenant people.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/endowment?lang=eng

I am ready to get back to my journey. I joined the gym about 2 weeks ago. I went one time, but then my daughter got hurt and was here, but I am back at it this Saturday and I plan on going 3 days a week. I will start my weigh-ins next week once I can get someone to help me take measurements of my body. I think I am somewhere around 260 and my goal weight is still around 175 or 180. So, it’s very doable and I am motivated.

I look forward to getting back to blogging. It feels good sharing my journey and just hoping and praying it helps someone.

God Bless and good night!