I know I just posted last night, but something happened today that I needed to share. I have this friend. Let’s call her D. I met her in one of the lowest points of my life. During a time that I thought for one brief second that I had nothing to live for, but I snapped out of it and new that my kids needed me to fight harder than ever for them. Their whole lives depended on it. D came in my life just a few short days later. She came with no judgement and she showed compassion. She was encouraging. She was the light in the darkness.
At each dark place in our lives we always have that light. The light can come from many different directions. A person, a spiritual belief, or just about anything that gives us hope. We have to hone in on that light even if the dark is the darkest of dark that you are in because NOTHING can drown out the light. No darkness can drown it out.
And the great thing about light is it is hope. Hope is something that is necessary to make it through the trenches of darkness. If your eyes are focused on hope, then they and you will never be lost. D was that hope for me during that moment of time. When I felt that all was lost, she was the sweet spirit that God sent me to help me be OK. I needed to be OK. My kids needed me to be OK. Despite the position she was in of being a protector, she also was a comforter. Every time I made a step in the right direction she acknowledged it. When I needed an ear, she listened. When I needed to at least believe that things were going to be OK, she provided hope.
So, last night I started putting the intros of my blog post onto Instagram. D is on Instagram and is a bit of a blogger herself. She saw my posts late last night. I was excited to know she read my posts. See D is one of my biggest cheerleaders on this Journey. When I made this decision to hike the Y last year, she was the first to say that she would love to join me on my hike. It made me so happy to know I have friends who will be with me when I do this. To have some of the best friends I have ever had to be there for me. She texted me this morning. This is what she said:
The part that resonates in my head very loudly is “You were relentless and followed through and never gave up because they were so important to you.” She is so right and it helped me to realize that even though I feel like my life has been one failure after another I AM NOT A FAILURE because I never gave up. I have lived a life full of ups and down that were hard fought for, but it has been a rewarding life. I appreciate everything and everyone in my life because I have worked so hard for them. I worked my way through college all while working and raise twins! I bought my first home all by myself. I birthed 4 kids who are all wonderful. I moved myself and my kids to SC for a better life and once we got over a few hills, we are living the better life. I work hard to take care of my kids. I have a side baking business that I started 4 years ago that is very successful. (I am on a hiatus right now to focus on myself and my health as well as my kids, but I will get my baking going again soon.)
So, I taught my own self a great lesson and I am moving in the direction of having my heart and my head agree on this. And yes D, you are right, I do deserve to show myself the same kind of dedication because I am worth it. My worth is great in the eyes of the Lord, in the eyes of my family, children and friends, and even in my own eyes.
This is something that I want to share with the world. Help people to find their light no matter where it comes from. It’s there. Sometimes you may have to squint your eyes and look really hard, but it is there!
Has there been a time in your life that someone was the light in your dark?