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Kristina Millner

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The Big DaySeptember 4, 2021
The big day is here.

Weight and Exercise Check In

My steps are getting a little bit better thanks to my fitness watch I bought. I set alarms on it that remind me to move if I have too much inactivity. It works. It’s done it once since I have been home and I just got up and did a few chores! Win!

You might think I am upset for not hitting my goal for today (It was 345), but I am not sad. I actually think I would have hit it, but I am (TMI warning!!) constipated right now. Haven’t pooped in days. So, I am OK and I know I will make up for it next week. I have been trying to increase my fiber so I am not sure what the problem is, but it will resolve itself eventually.

I am moving in the right direction and I don’t mean my weight. I continue to have things happen in my life that make me happy. I am finding myself worrying less when I go out in public and need to sit down. I have not had any trouble fitting in seats. They are still a bit snug, but I can fit. I am pulling clothes out of my closet that were previously tight and they are fitting so much better. I wore pants for the first time today. It’s been MONTHS and MONTHS since I wore pants. The picture I added was a shirt that I pulled out tonight that the last time I tried to wear it I could barely get it on! WOOT WOOT! These are the things that make me happy. Me missing my weight goal is why I really don’t want to track it, but I do because its a huge indicator that I am following my doctors plan.

I am adding an old pic of myself. It is an older picture and I am not sure how much I weighed, but I know it was the high 300’s. I really feel weird looking at that picture. I want to hate myself, but my new me won’t let that happen. I want to be embarrassed, but my new me won’t let that happen. I want to be proud of myself and my new me will definitely let that happen!!!! (My sweet girl is a cutie, isn’t she?!?!) It’s painful to see myself like that, but it only motivates me to keep on the course that I am on so that I don’t ever have to be like that again. Tired, hurting, embarrassed, low self esteem, so critical of myself, depressed, full of anxiety. NO MORE! No more hiding behind a smile. My smiles are real now! My smiles are now true of how I really feel!

I continue to be grateful for anyone that reads my story. The more people that read it helps me to know that some day someone who really needs to see this will see it and hopefully it will help them.

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