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Kristina Millner

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The Big DaySeptember 4, 2021
The big day is here.

So, today I got an invitation for a company conference call. It was titled “Organization Change”. It was instant wondering who was coming and who was going. I wasn’t overly worried, but I was all wrong. I didn’t expect anything major. The announcement was major for the business and for myself.

It was announced that our Plant Manager has taken a promotion that will eventually take him to our corporate office and that our former plant manager will be stepping back into the roll. There are two problems here. I really like and respect our current PM. He is personable, easy to talk to and easy to work with. He is smart and has done a great job in the last few years since taking over. His leadership will be missed. That is a problem to me to lose him. The second problem is the person taking his place doesn’t like me and seems like he is out to get me. If I take any misstep he runs straight to my boss and tattles on me. He never talks to me. It just makes the work environment a little less pleasant. As soon as they said it my heart started racing and I literally cried through the rest of the call. Thank goodness the call was audio only. I was actually very surprised by my own reaction, but after thinking about it I understood it a bit more. The issue with him hasn’t been very prevalent recently because working remote makes me not have to be around him except for my one day a week and because of his current job I don’t have to interact with him much. But knowing that I will now interact with him more made me stress out. Anxiety is a crazy, cruel thing. It can pop out of no where and when you least expect it.

Why am I telling you this? Because life is real. My life is real and I have set backs just like anyone else. I sulked for a couple of hours and then called my boss and had a great conversation that helped to put my mind at ease. He understands my feelings and respected how I felt. He has promised to back me up so long as I am doing my job and doing the best that I can do.

The key takeaway for today is that for the first time in a long time, I moved on from the anxiety fairly quickly and didn’t let it put me in a tailspin. I didn’t desire to eat through my pain. I made it through only losing a few tears. I think this moment is worthy of documenting. To others it may seem trivial, but for me it is a huge milestone and that’s all that matters.

Dorothy Neddermyer: “Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it.”

I have lived life up until recently thinking that life was 90% what has happened to me and 10% how I responded. I didn’t believe in myself to take control of my own life. No more! I am now living my life just like Dorothy said above. It is actually very freeing to let go of the negativity and the control that I was giving to other people over my life. Because when you let what people do to you control you then you are subsequently giving over control of your life to everyone else. If that isn’t like being imprisoned then I don’t know what is. I have broken the chains of my imprisonment and I am in control of MY life.

My hope with every post is that I will reach at least one person that is struggling and give them hope. I am no expert. I am not a therapist, but what I am is living proof that you can survive anything. You can take back control of your life and your happiness.

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