My last post was a bit ominous, but I try to be real. I was in the middle of a horrible 2 week stall. Even though I tried to tell myself it was going to happen, I was not happy that it actually did happen. I immediately started thinking it was me. That I was doing something wrong. That I had screwed up yet again! Yea, maybe there were things I could do better, but I didn’t screw up. I still have work to do when it comes to negative self thinking. But anyway, as you can see I am back on tract and learned from my mistakes. To break my stall I took a few steps back in regards to my diet. I went back to drinking 2 to 3 protein shakes and cut out as much carbs and added fat as I could and was eating super lean proteins and healthy veggies in between the shakes. I was also drinking TONS of water. Welp, it worked. Another positive thing that came out of that is my hair loss significantly slowed down. It is the increased protein. So I have decided to stay on the protein shakes for a while. At least 2 a day. This gets my protein intake fairly high. I have advised my dietician of all of this and she was proud of me for making the change and realizing what I needed to do on my own. She is ok with me doing this for a month or so in order to “reset” myself and help with the hair loss. Eventually I need to go back to eating more and getting my nutrients via food vs shakes, but for now and for the short term she is fine.
Well, I am still not happy with my step numbers. I have no good excuse other than that I am just a busy person. Being a single mom is hard. I feel like I keep busy from sun up to sun down, but I also realize that my life is on the line here and if I want to keep up with my kids I have got to do better. If you see week 13, know that it is only 1 day. Yep, I beat my daily goal today! I did so because I decided instead of driving to the bus stop that I would start walking if the weather is good. I walked up there and got there early so I lapped the parking lot until the bus got there. It felt good. And even tonight as I was cleaning I had to clean out the litter box. I decided to go ahead and walk it to the dumpster (we live in apartments). It was while I was walking back that my fitness watch started buzzing letting me know that I had beat my goal. I feel like I am emerging from my funk that I was in for a while. I feel blessed that my bout with depression only lasted a couple of weeks and I didn’t spiral downwards significantly like I used to. I didn’t eat myself through it. That is progress.
General Update about life
Life has had its ups and down, but the trend is up! I am excited to announce that I took a new position within my company. I am going from Accounts Receivable to Accounts Payable. I am very excited for this change. I love learning new things and feel like I have pretty much capped out with my current position. This is also great for my resume and makes me a more valuable employee to know 2 positions. I have also been having fun baking for friends and family. I have been doing a little bit to sell and make money, but mostly for fun. I was surprised that I didn’t really have any cravings to eat the stuff I bake. I take a bite or two, but am happy with that and move on. It feels good to not have food control my life. For once I see food as life sustaining (for the most part) and not something that I wake up and have it control me all day long! I know this is because of the hard work I did before and after surgery. I had to conquer my emotional eating in order for this surgery to work. I feel that I did that.
My oldest daughter will be home in 8 days. I miss her so much and can’t wait to wrap her up in a huge hug at the airport. I haven’t seen her since June 29th. She is mostly loving the military life! HAHA I still can’t believe my little girl who was 4.5 lbs at birth is now a soldier for the United States Army!
That’s all for now. Let me just leave by saying that I am grateful for my mistakes because they help me grow and push me back to the right path. I am excited about life now and I have learned to not let the mistakes derail me even more than they did when I made them. Mistakes are a part of life and if we view them as opportunities to grow versus mistakes it really changes your whole perspective on life!