Change is Inevitable!

If life has taught me nothing else, it has taught me to be flexible.

I arrived at the hospital this morning promptly at 8:15am. I was whisked away to a waiting room while my support person was shown to another. I sat down not giving much thought to much of anything. I wasn’t nervous. It was just an EGD after all. Stick a camera down my throat and peek around. Not much to be worried about. I didn’t have much time to get nervous before they called my name to be registered. COVID-19 has changed everything. I didn’t even sign any papers, just gave my verbal consent to be treated and was taken back to another waiting room. Hurry up to wait. Something I have heard a lot since my daughter joined the Army. Hospitals are quite the same, but just not as bad. I sat in the next waiting room mostly all alone. Knowing I was getting closer to go time, I was feeling some nerves, but the rumbling of my VERY empty belly kept me from worrying too much.

I played on my phone, did my first ever video for Instagram. That was a milestone. I don’t like seeing or hearing myself in videos. It’s like nails on a chalk board. I know…I got some work to do on that area. I sat for a little more in the peace and quiet. Only one other person was there for the first part, but once he got called back it was just me and my thoughts. Quick thoughts of my kids, my daughter in the Army who I haven’t heard from, my blog, me. So much to think about. I hadn’t heard back about my request to change my surgery back to the Sleeve and I knew my surgeon was going to see me so I wondered if she would address my request or not today.

Ms. Millner, we are ready for you!

Yep, that’s me. I grab my phone and the paper full of stickers they gave me and followed the lady with the pretty eyes to the back. That’s all I can say about her because of the masks. She was nice and took me to my temporary quarters. Asked me the same set of questions that every other person asked me. Have you been outside the United States? Have you come into contact with someone who is sick or had contact with someone who is sick with COVID? Do you have a cough, fever, shortness of breath or lost your sense of taste or smell? Do you have any heart problems? Do you smoke or drink? Do you….? Do you….? Do you….? No. No. No. No. No. No. No and No. I am then instructed to undress and put on their designer gown and pack all my belongings in a bag. I now regret wearing my old underwear. Yes I know…my momma always taught me to wear my best undies cause you never know, but I am kinda running low. I need more undies, but I didn’t want to buy anymore until I am in a smaller size. I hate wasting money and didn’t want to waste any on undies that might only fit me a month. So, my good old trusty undies that have seen better days just got to hang on a little bit longer!

Now come the nerves.

So, now I am laying there with the official gown and people are in and out. One lady on one arm getting blood pressure, another volunteers to stick me and get my IV going. She volunteered like she was excited. Yea, I guess I would be excited if I wasn’t the one going to feel the pain! She sticks me and shoots me up with some lidocaine and then sticks me again. Didn’t feel the second stick. Great, I think. That was quick. But alas, it was not meant to be. Guess the vein decided it wasn’t going to help me out and it rolled right and then left and then right again. Lidocaine wasted. I got stuck again with no lidocaine so I felt every bit of the pain. They only got one tear out of me today though. I was tough. When I get nervous I start talking and joking. I think I am a comedian when I am nervous. I told the anesthesiologist when he came in that he was missing out because he couldn’t see my smile behind the mask. <palm to face> Yea, I did. I really did that. Oh well. Maybe he thought it was funny. I couldn’t tell behind HIS mask! I am getting more nervous as more people come around me, but I think I am doing mostly OK.

Here’s where the whole thing about change comes in!

In walks my surgeon for her pre procedure visit. First thing she says is, “I hear you want to switch back to the sleeve. You are making a big mistake and let me tell you why!” She whips out the charts. I can’t see worth a lick because they already took off my glasses, but I nod my head like I can actually see what she is showing me. I just listen very closely. The charts show the projected weight loss for each procedure. She tells me that according to historical data that the sleeve will help me loose this much and the bypass this much. I could potentially still be considered morbidly obese with the sleeve. What’s the point in having a surgery to just go from the high category of morbidly obese to just end up in the low category of morbidly obese? I guess I see her point. I reiterated my fears of the mal absorption issues. She gave me some information on how the surgery has changed over the years and that they don’t bypass nearly as much of the small intestines at they used to and that if I followed the plan that she PROMISED me I would be OK. So, I told her I would cancel my request and keep my procedure as the bypass.

Do I have enough faith in myself?

I had told myself and my family that I knew I could do it with the sleeve cause I was going to follow the plan to the T and that I was going to work hard to lose the weight that I needed to lose. So, with that in mind I told myself that if I can follow one plan and have success, why not just follow the other plan and have even more guaranteed weight loss? The plans are actually the same. Keeping all follow up appointments, sticking to the dieticians food plan, taking all vitamins and supplements, doing the blood work as scheduled, exercising, drinking lots of water, and getting all the necessary protein in. I have faith in the plan. This hospital has a great program and has requirements that are more strict that what insurance requires. Classes and more classes. They want you to know exactly what you are doing and they are making sure that you have every necessary tool to make sure that you are successful.

So, to answer the question. Yes, I have faith in myself. I got this! I have my support system ready and waiting in the wings to be there for me every step of the way.

By time this posts it will be 7/18 so we are now less than a month to go.