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Kristina Millner

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The Big DaySeptember 4, 2021
The big day is here.

Only 4 More Days of this Pre Op Diet

OK, who doesn’t love the Rock! Sorry, had to do it!

I have been on this dang pre op diet for 24 days. That is 24 High Protein Shakes, 72 regular shakes, 24 chocolate peanut butter bars, and lots of chicken, veggies, and fruit! I only have 4 more HP shakes, 12 regular shakes, 4 chocolate peanut butter bars, and 4 more assorted dinners consisting of a protein, a veggie, and a fruit left! I have been tested in so many ways. From the death of my step dad to having to continue cooking delicious meals for my kids and NOT eat them. Not even a lick of the spoon covered in delicious spaghetti sauce! (OK, maybe just a lick!) I dream of eating good food and I wish I could have cheat day, but there is too much on the line for that. I have come to far to possibly mess things up for what? Instant gratification of a juicy cheeseburger that will only make me feel good for that one moment? Nope, not doing it. I am learning to look past the instant gratification and see my future and the impacts of my present day choices. I am ready for a life that I can’t even ever remember having.

I Can’t Remember Ever Not Being Fat

Me after running my 1st and only race!

I haven’t always been this overweight, but I have never been thin. I came close to feeling good a few times in my life. I even ran the Susan G Komen 3K race one year. Considering I never run that was good for me. (And I wasn’t last!) That was as close as I ever got to feeling normal. That was the closest to feeling thin that I ever got and I was probably still 275 lbs. I guess at this point I am only imagining what it is going to feel like to not carry 250 lbs of excess weight around. Will I feel like I am walking on clouds? I sure hope so, but I have set no expectations for myself other than it will be better than how it feels now! I have more Non Scale Victories (NSV) planned for myself then weight goals. It isn’t about weight. It’s not so much about the number on the scale other than that number is making my life hard. I am all about living life to the fullest.

My Non Scale Victories

I am sure it is self explanatory, but just in case. A NSV is a goal or a desire for a person losing weight, but that doesn’t involve the scale. Things that a scale can’t measure. I have a long list, but some of the ones that I am very excited about are:

Flying in an airplane and not needing a seat belt extender, being able to go to any venue or restaurant and being able to fit in a chair, riding a roller coaster, having more slack in my seat belt, buying clothes in any store I want, and so many more. Today I noticed that I have a bit more slack in my seat belt. In the summer I leave my door open while I put on my seat belt and start the car. I then have to lean out to grab the door to close it. Normally I can just barely reach the door with my fingertips to pull it shut, but today I noticed that my fingers actually wrapped over the door frame when I reached for it. I actually sat back and did it again because I had never been able to so easily reach the door before with my seat belt on! Woohoo!

Photo by G Drama on Pexels.com

The Effects of My Weight on my Kids!

It pulls at my heart strings when my 6 yr old daughter asks me after I lose weight will I be able to ride a bike like her! I sure hope so baby girl! I have missed out on so much in my kids lives. I can’t get on the floor and play with them because it hurts too much. I can’t ride bikes with them. I can’t even run fast enough to teach my 8 yr old how to ride his new bike. But guess what? No more feeling sorry. I am starting a new life on Aug 17 and I am only going to look back from time to time just to see how far I have come.

The Clock is Ticking Down

Monday will be here before I know it. Lots to do to keep me busy though. I have a repeat mammogram tomorrow (please pray all is well), Thursday I have two appointments at the Bariatric doctors office. One with one of the office surgeons. Basically a final time to go over the plan for the last few days leading up to surgery and answering questions most likely. The 2nd class is my weigh in and Optifast class. Friday I am getting a pedicure and Saturday I am getting my hair cut and then making a cake and cookies for my nephews 1st birthday party. No worries on my diet. I am not much of a sweet person so it’s not a huge temptation for me. Now if she asked me to make a lasagna I might be in trouble!

I am almost moved to tears because of all the support I have been getting from friends and people I don’t even know. It helps me keep the nerves down and stay positive about my new life that will begin shortly. There will be good days and not so good days, but I am ready to take it on. One step closer to that hike up the mountain!

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